Thursday 18 November 2010

Post in between posts 2 - cocooning issues

Today is not a good day for me. My private sphere is being invaded by two nice young men, who are ripping apart some of our windows in order to put new ones in. Generally, this might be a good idea. But it is freezing cold outside, I have to sit in the kitchen (instead of my usual workplace), there‘s lots of noise and - worst of all - social behaviour is expected from me. At home! 

And this is really becoming an issue: By travelling all around the globe and teaching social Tango, I have transformed into a very unsocial being. BT (Before Tango) I used to spend time in cafés and cinemas or at my friends, meeting people, partying, always being a group-person. Now, I exhaust all my interactive energy by travelling, teaching, constantly being with people, so that I drop into heavy cocooning mode, when I‘ve got a few days at home. I usually don‘t leave the house, order whatever is possible on the internet and even have to force myself to meet my friends. Don‘t misunderstand me - I love them and am always happy, when I‘m there. But it just costs me so much to leave my computer, dress properly and maybe even get out of the house. Watching a DVD, reading a book or writing on blogs are my preferred pastimes... I don‘t even remember when I last visited a real party... Sad...

But it‘s not only me and my wish to counterbalance the strenuous life of a travelling person!
Actually all of my friends describe the same problem, even those with regular jobs. Even the non-tangueros. So is it age? Are we mutating into old bores? And then I look at the younger generation and discover the same mechanisms: Teenagers preferring the TV or computer to the disco, young people spending the time at home with their elders playing cards instead of chatting up girls!

What‘s wrong? Is it a trend in society? Scientists tell us, that cocooning derives from the wish of fleeing the unstable and perilous world, especially after 9/11. But I'm not so sure. My personal life is not so frightening. My hometown Saarbrücken is a relatively nice and calm smaller city and I've never experienced war or terrorism. Almost none of my personal acquaintances have... So what is it?

I‘m gonna keep an eye on this.... most likely by reading articles online and not by talking to people. ;-)


Fausta said...

Not to worry.

You're having a totally normal reaction after months of very intense, constant contact with hundreds of people you won't see again for months, or even years. It's all decompressing.

Having said that, come back to Princeton sometime & we'll take you out to dinner - and you won't need to be sociable if you don't feel like it.

Melina Sedo said...

Looking forward to meeting you again. Maybe in 2012. :-)

LeadingLady said...

Age1: I am not sleeping as well as young and the recovery is slower. Need more time for myself.
Age2: Earlier I talked with people to explore world – today that need is not so urgent.
Entertainment: One hour (!) of music on Saturdays, a few TV programs a week and some books. My brain was not overstimulated when young. I think today all the parallell activities must be more exhausting.
Choices: There are much mor choices to do. Time consuming and leaving you often unsatisfied
Global responcibility: this is a new thing - even children are woried about the globe.
Compare groups: You do not compare yourself with people around you but with whole world – your are seldom satisfyed.

Yes it is age allso! I get more tired now and sleeping do not receover me as easily as in my 20tees. At that time I needed to talk about all the upsetting issues for a day. We could talk in telephone or at home for hours about reasons and sollutions for different scenarios. Today I do not get upset so often and when I do I work it out more by myself.

I think all that talking was an attempt to together with others understand the big thing called world. By now most of my peers have enoungh of understanding how life goes together and the urge to talk is not there. My generation was talking/listening their way to understanding; I wonder if the young generation is watching, listeneing recordings, reading and writing themselfs to that understanding?

During my schooltime I was at home every evening. My choices to entertainment were a few programs in TV per week, one hour of music for teenager on Saturdays (that's all, no Cds,or taperecorder), books from library once a week, newspapers, skeeing or walking in forest.

To buy carrots was an easy thing in 1960. If you liked them you bought them.
No choices, no negtive healthy concerns and no global responsibility.

Today you have several options, taste, colours, shapes, more or less precooked, traditional and organic grown and so on. This is quite ok; it is still simple and takes just more time than 1960.
I think the long term choices are draining our enery: If your take traditionally grown or organic carrort - What kind of impact it has on you helth? Is this product travelling a long way and my buy is making the global warming worse?

Carrots are an easy thing to understand but there are other more complicated situations in your everyday life.

Global responcibility – a mental burden: When I have been postponing a small Must-To-do thing there is a clear releaf when I at last do it. This kind of releaf is hard to get for my Global responcibility – the situation is so huge and unclear so I never KNOW if I am doing right. I can only study, think and then DECIDE what is the right thing to do.

Today your home should be styled by a professional as well as your clothes, your meals must be beautifull and so on.

Anonymous said...

For you to return home and wrap yourselve in a cocoon is totally understandable, given that your chosen profession requires you to travel great distances and interact on a very intense basis with virtually complete strangers.
The arriving home is then seen as somewhere to retreat to that is a constant and not the shifting life of Teaching Tango worldwide and Fck all to do with 9/11. With regard to the rest of the worlds population I think that peoples expectations are being pushed to high by various media T/V, Magazines etc so that you are considered a failure if you have not ticked these boxes wear these clothes,or meet this criteria. Allied to the fact that any Faux Pas that you make can be Tweeted or Facebooked to all your peers in a matter of seconds, rather than as it was in the past, when it could take weeks to get around and then thanks to Chinese Whispers it was all wrong anyway. So the easy option for them is don't expose yourself to interaction and stay within the boundries that are comfortable.... Maybe they should all learn Argentine Tango because as Detlef said "Tango is a contact sport"

Melina Sedo said...

@ at all: Tango and live are a full contact sport, and this is why sometimes, we need to stay for ourselves. ;-)
Just like now. I'm contentedly sitting at my computer and going trough notes for a next post!