My incredible shrinking world

First they closed the borders, so that it is you and the others again: Germany (low infection numbers = safe) vs. Italy (high infection numbers = dangerous). Or: Germany (strict measures until present day) vs. Switzerland (contact restrictions stopped). Europe has ceased to exist and all of a sudden its countries are separate again. 

Even worse: Germany consists of quite independent federal states and because most of the corona measures are decided on a "Bundesland"-basis, it really matters where exactly you live. You start comparing your situation with those of the other provinces: I live in the Saarland. As our regional prime minister is particularly interested in showing resoluteness, the measures here are stricter than in the neighbouring Rhineland-Palatinat. All these months, I was really envious of the relative freedom they had. They could sit on a bench in a park. We were not allowed to. In Hesse, they even were permitted to visit friends. Here, this was strictly forbidden for a long time.

Then recently, the government decided that lockdowns will be made stricter again, when there are more than 50 (in Saarland 35) infections per 100.000 inhabitants over 7 days in one immediate region. So now you start comparing the numbers in the different cities of your "Bundesland" and hope that your city’s won't go up. The "Regionalverband Saarbrücken" looks very good at the moment. Our average infection rate over the last 7 days is 1,22. Neunkirchen is more critical - they’ve got 6,83 daily infections per 100.000 inhabitants. So I hope it will not seep over. (Note how I am obsessing over such low numbers! We’re far away from the 30, have not reached this number since mid April, but I am already worried, because every single registered infection now endangers the lifting of restrictions and therefore my livelihood.)

Also, I almost never leave the flat. I have no fear of the virus, but there are only very few reasons for me to go out: there is no work, no travel, no money to spend in restaurants or with other activities, no inclination to go into stores having to wear a mask... I go out once a week for grocery shopping, occasionally to run and in the last two weeks, we’ve again taken up privates.  But our studio is in the same house. 

I spend my entire days in front of the computer screen. When I am not working on our digital versions of Caminar Abrazados, I am trying to coordinate other dance schools in our region, writing protest-letters to ministries and watching the numbers. Day in, day out observing the numbers on John Hopkins, on the site of the RKI, the WHO and some others. This is my new hobby.

In past years, the whole world seemed small, because I felt connected all over it. I travelled all year, made friends in so many different countries. The distances between us became irrelevant. Now my world is small and the others are far, far away.

Even the distance to my non-tango friends in the same city has become huge, feels unbreachable. Their lives have changed considerably less as they went on working normally all these months and have hobbies that were not prohibited. They meet colleagues, go out, earn their living. I am reduced to receiving charity and trying to sell digital products, that (I guess) most buy out of pity. They are successful university teachers or computer specialists. I am the looser artist who’d better stuck to her profession as a psychologist.

My world has collapsed. It is now only one room, one chair with the same view every hour of the day.

One day, this might disappear too. 


Note: Yes, I know that it should be "My incredibly shrinking world". But those who know me might have guessed the pop-culture reference.

I'm so worried

I know that as a tango teacher and organiser, I should now be confident and send out positive vibes and believe me: this post will also come. Last afternoon, Detlef, Thorsten and I made plans on how to survive the complete stop of our work. I will therefore have to snap out of my temporal paralysis. But before I soldier on, I have the urge to write about my worries. If you only want to read positive things, please skip this post.
On Sunday, we had our last workshop for an indefinite time and I started to cry during our final words to the group. It was very embarrassing.
The weekend had already been difficult because of cancellations and because of the fact that we could not correct by dancing with the students, but only by "show & tell". There were also no changes of partner, every couple kept their distance to the others and I felt that although we tried our best, our teaching quality suffered.
But this was not the reason why I cried.
I wept because I could not greet and see off any of our students with the usual hug and because we do not know when we'll meet anyone again. Yes, I cannot deny my distress caused by the financial insecurity, but the relational aspects of this crisis are far more troubling. Teaching and organising tango has been my life since 2001 and it has now come to an end. In these 19 years, we've helped build an international community of dancers and friends: the encuentro scene, our students, our teacher training graduates... We've traveled so much and I feel close to many people around the globe of whom I am now cut off. For how long? Who knows!
I am also extremely unhappy because we have only taken up teaching in our hometown last year and are in the process of building a very fine thing. We’ve got super motivated and talented participants as well as assistants and helpers but now had to stop working with them in the middle of two great courses. The same goes for the intensive bootcamp. We had just finished the first module with a brilliant group and now the rest is suspended. It is so frustrating!
And social media did not help in the last weeks. Usually I enjoy communicating via Facebook, exchanging information, casually sharing a bit of your lives or just being silly. But now Facebook just upset me.
So many interactions and posts were and still are being ruled by fear and distrust and the social pressure on teachers and organisers these past weeks was immense. Anyone who held a milonga or taught a class was accused of jeopardising the public well-fare, independent of the individual circumstances. People seemed to be giving all the responsibility to organisers and teachers instead of believing in the sensible behaviour of others. Names of infected persons were openly circulated in Facebook-posts and organisers of past tango-events connected to corona-incidents were being dissed without knowing all facts. All of a sudden, everybody was an expert and tried to regulate the lives of others. My life! As if the regulations and measures by the governments as well as the media were not already draining all my energy and disturbing my sleep! As if I was not aware of the situation myself! As if I was not spending most of my days reading the sites of the WHO, the RKI and the John Hopkins institute! It has now gotten a bit better and people are talking about ways of helping organisers and teachers, but this feels a bit weird after being scared into immobility.
As a psychologist and person, I find all that very worrying. It reminds me of the AIDS panic and its impact on society in the 80s.
That's not good!
Because this tango community will not only suffer from illness caused by a virus. It will also be harmed by how we interact with each other. What do you think will happen when not only all tango activities are suspended over a long period, but tangueros continue behaving in hurtful and often irrational ways? Sure, many dedicated dancers are counting the days until they can go to the next encuentro or marathon. But do you really think, that things will just resume, where they were left off? I am not so convinced. 
This is what I worry about:

• Many not (yet) being infected with the tango-virus will disappear and take on other activities. That concerns in particular newbies whom we and others have lovingly groomed into becoming tangueros. Without these dancers, tango schools will have to close and the communities (already deprived of advanced dancers by the international events) shrink.
• Organisers who do not only have to cancel their events, but also refund payments will make losses because of the obligations towards venue, artists and other parties. People thus affected might not continue organising events - which is already a high-risk/little-income activity. (Ok, let's be honest: less encuentros or marathons would actually not be such a bad thing, but not at the expense of motivated individuals.)
• Anyone living from tango has to start seeking alternative sources of income less volatile to catastrophes and difficult social interactions. Not everyone will survive on online videos. I am planning to visit the local “Arbeitsamt” (public agency of work) to check my options of returning to psychology or another line of work in the social sector. Let's see how many other tango teachers go back to being computer specialists, engineers or nurses.
• Anyone being upset by the public discussion might turn away from tango or at least from certain persons. Sensitive people already stopped using Facebook because of this. Who wants to interact with a community that denounces infected persons and puts such a pressure on individuals?
• People for whom tango is the only social activity and the only form of physical contact with others will feel isolated and lonely. This goes in particular for everyone living alone and for many older people. Depression rates will go up amongst those groups. Yes, people die from the virus. But they also die from depression. I am incredibly worried about that!

I know that I paint a very dramatic picture but please do not dismiss my words as the ramblings of a professional pessimist. I beg you: Let’s all behave sensibly and carefully. Dancing and hugs have an immensely positive impact on life-quality, well-being and our health. Please do not destroy these resources with fear and distrust. When everything has calmed down, you still want to be able to take your friends into the arms.

And on another note:

European Milongueros: Les Anglais

Although I had planned on writing this article for months, I actually started it on the day after the general election in the UK and now fear that it might be overshadowed by the sad news of a conservative majority and certain Brexit. But even such a disaster cannot break the bonds that have formed across the channel!


What is this article about?

In 2011, I published a series of articles to introduce some friends who have contributed to the early development of milonguero culture in Europe by promoting and living social tango, the "codigos milongueros" and a culture of the embrace as teachers, organisers, djs and dancers. 

Today, I would like continue by presenting a few of my British friends, who were not so much "on the map" when I wrote the original series. Back then, the UK had not yet developed a distinct milonguero culture, but that changed after the first edition of Abrazos - Encuentro Milonguero, organised by our Tangokombinat colleagues Andreas and Lynn in Devon. Today, a large number of Brits are not only amongst the most popular dancers at any European meeting of close embrace dancers, they also shape tango culture by organising events, teaching, djing and spreading milonguero culture through their tireless travels. As our French friends say: "Sans les Anglais - ça va pas du tout!"

I find it super hard to make a choice, but the ones that I am going to introduce share not only their milongueroness, but also two other important properties: All of them have repeatedly taken classes with us and/or visited our events, so that I had plenty opportunities to get to know them better. In addition to that, they are dedicated Europeans who have fought actively for the UK to stay in the EU by going to and organising rallies, by posting about it on the internet and by trying to reason with those who want to bring us apart. 

In the photo below, you can see Matthew, Nikki, Dawn, Eleanor, Krissy, Nick and many other tangueros during a march against Brexit. The others are not on it, but believe me, they've also done their part.

But let's look back to 2009.

This was the year when Detlef and I were for the first time invited to teach in the UK. The SuperTangk in Bramshaw exceeded our expectations. We had been told to be prepared for a bunch of lazy open-embrace dancers but what we got were enthusiastic students, eager to immerse themselves into close-embrace social dance. This was when we first met:


Nikki Mellor + Matthew Cooper
These talented dancers don't teach or organise but an encuentro without them is like a picknick without sun. Matthew is one of my favourite partners and the most positive person. When being nervous before a demo, I just have to look at him to know that everything is fine and that what we do is appreciated. Matthew's presence lights up my mood every time. Apart from being a remarkably musical dancer, Matthew also has an incredible eye for the small things around him. Have a look at his short film of loss and hope. It is one of the many moments that he captured with his camera.
Nikki is less visible on the internet, but she is one of the preferred partners of Detlef and many other leaders. She also leads, but not as regularly as Dawn and Eleanor. I unfortunately only got to dance with her very few times, but always enjoyed her embrace immensely, no matter in which role. I think you will get to know this strong woman best, when you see her through the eyes of her beloved. And by the way, I lied: Nikki has started teaching women's leading classes with her friend Krissy. 
This video shows Nikki and Matthew dancing the last tanda of Matthew's "40th spectac-EU-lar birthday" party- an occasion on which all his European friends united to celebrate tango, friendship and the EU. By the way: Dawn and Eleanor, whom I will introduce below, can both also be seen dancing in the video.
The cool photo below was made in Berlin where Matthew works in software development. Hopefully, he'll be able to continue this employment after Brexit. 

Eleanor Durrant

Eleanor has not taken many classes with us, but she is a dear friend, whose opinion I highly value and a fabulous dancer in both roles.

I first met Eleanor in 2009 on occasion of our Festivalito de los Angeles in St. Wendel, the next year at Les Cigales and at the FCA when it was still a festivalito. She reviewed all of these and many more events on her blog as Ms.Hedgehog and by that immensely contributed to the popularity of encuentros and festivalitos milongueros in Europe. Her writing is witty and always to the point, whether it is about tango, film, books, needle work or whatever she deems worthy writing about. 

In real life she's a freelance business analyst specialising in difficult business situations. As a tango dancer, you will often see which role she is dancing by her marked clothing: dress and high heels when she's planning on following or trousers and flats when she is leading. That makes her very visible when signing up as a double-role dancer and is one of the many precious tips for tango-dancers on her blog. She has taken up teaching in London, specialising on basics and floorcraft and I am confident that even the most advanced dancers will get useful advice from her how to dance better in a crowded ronda. Eleanor is also an active dj.

Here you can see her dancing with Andreas during the last edition of Abrazos in Devon. The picture below is by Markus Schüller. 

A year later - in 2010 - we first met:

Marion Greenwood + David Thomas

David told me that they used to watch our videos on Youtube thinking "that looks like it might be interesting to try". Well, they got to try a lot.

Marion and David not only visited numerous of our classes and tango-holidays, but also took part in our first Tango-Teacher-Training in 2013. I will always remember David's enigmatic introduction and Marion's ever encouraging smile, even when the classes took much longer than planned. This first TTT was very exciting and by working with each other, we forged everlasting memories as well as pedagogical concepts and musical ideas. It was on this occasion that David and Marion presented the orchestra of Francisco Lomuto in such a creative way: "Imagine an elephant running through a jungle." After the TTT, David carried on his research, resulting in the book Getting to know - 20 Tango Orchestras. I recommend it as an excellent resource for every tanguero. 

Because they are elegant dancers and great in any form of communication, we invited them (and Saso + Alja from Slovenia) to participate in the film to our book Caminar Abrazados. It was David who magically made an apple appear during one of the exercises and thereby initiated a running gag. Here you can see us all in action.

David and Marion are not only the most friendly and beautiful couple, but also very active in spreading the word. They teach and organise milongas as well as tango-holidays and David regularly works as a dj in the UK and all over Europe. The only thing that I regret is that we nowadays don't meet so often anymore because we fequent different Encuentros.

Fun fact: Marion and David live in the same village as Matthew and Nikki. How can such a small place turn out so many dedicated dancers?

The photo below by Thorsten Janes shows them on the film set. 

Dawn Porter

I first met Dawn in 2010 only three months after she had started dancing. It was on occasion of workshops in Bristol and two months later she already visited our Encuentro in Germany. I have seldom met someone so eager to absorb tango. In our teacher trainings I present her as an example for the ideal student. No wonder she made such great progress in short time. In the beginning she concentrated on the traditional follower's role, but soon asked me, whether I thought that learning the leading role would be a good idea. I encouraged her and never regretted it, because today Dawn is one of my favourite leaders for Biagi. I am lucky that this feeling seems to be mutual, because once a tanda starts, our miradas find each other across the biggest rooms. Needless to state that she's an excellent follower as well!

Apropos mirada: Dawn - who is also djing on a regular basis - was the creator of Una Mirada, which was the second Encuentro Milonguero in the UK from 2014-16. In recent years, she has hosted me and my partner Ramona for Ladies Only weekends and I hope we'll go on working together after Brexit. I would not want to miss the hours around her kitchen table. 

Another thing that comes to mind when I think of Dawn are her t-shirts. Since 2017, I have frequently seen her in EU-blue with stars, but the coolest was her "Made by Tangokombinat" shirt. As she has not only worked intensively with Detlef and me, but also with by Andreas, our Tangokombinat colleague, the inscription made us all proud!

Here you can watch her perform with Eleanor at a milonga in London. The video is old but you can already see Dawn's typical dynamic and Eleanor's relaxed footwork. And by the way: the person giggling so audibly is Matthew who made the video. 

The photo of Dawn and me dancing was made by the French milonguero Xavier Delalle.

Mike + Patricia Barrow

Mike recollects based on his diary entry: "We first met on 31st July 2010 at the Milonga del Angel in Nimes. You were running your Mas de Mestre workshops, we were on holiday in the area and visited the milonga.  ...  We danced...  Patricia apparently had two dances with Detlef... The diary records: Memo to self: we should sign up next time they come to a Tangk in Bramshaw. The rest is history."

Indeed. In the following years, we would have the pleasure of working and dancing with this interesting couple several times in and outside of the UK. I not only enjoyed the shared tango experiences, but also our vivid discussions about life outside the bubble. Mike is an academic economist, Patricia - originally French - was a school teacher. So far, the two have not ventured into organising or teaching, but given their background I would not be surprised. 

An interesting fact: Since this year, these smart milongueros both have British and French citizenship. They will therefore be amongst the lucky ones to be able to travel and work freely in both worlds after Brexit. I am very happy for them and hope we'll meet even more often in the future. The most recent encounter was at our Festivalito Pequeña in June, where Patricia won a ticket to the 2020 edition. So there are good chances to dance with them next year!

The picture below is from an Italian milonguero Christina Campagna.

Jeff Allen + Caro Millet

In my original post, I did not include Jeff and Caro, because they are actually not "Anglais" and new to the milonguero scene. But I have decided to add them, because things are constantly changing.

The fist time that Jeff and Caro took classes with us was in Bristol 2012 and 2013, so we know them quite some time, but it took a few years until we bonded. In 2013, I saw them at Abrazos in Devon, but there was not much of a personal contact. 

Caro and Jeff are another very European couple. They live in Glasgow, Scotland. He is Scot and she is from France, but has been living in the UK for many years. Both are very much affected by the political situation, but who knows, Scotland might remain in the EU. 

A fun fact about Jeff: although coming from another line of work, he is now building violins. I find that very impressive! 

Since 2002, Jeff has been teaching with the Finnish dancer Sari, but as you can see from (quite old) pictures on their website, their school does not have a definite milonguero orientation. Jeff has nevertheless changed his personal approach to tango a lot: In 2016/17 he registered for our TTT and since then been integrated into the milonguero community. He and Caro have also participated in a few of our tango holidays in France and regularly go to milonguero events in the UK and on the continent. Here you can see them dancing at an encuentro. Jeff has also participated in my dj-seminar and is djing in Glasgow.

Caro has not only started to lead but is now also giving classes with Jeff. They are actively helping to boost social close embrace tango in this rather remote part of the UK. I wish them lots of luck and hope that we'll soon return to Glasgow to support this great development.

The picture below is by Thorsten Janes and shows them dancing at our Pequeña.

Nick + Krissy King

These lovely people are the last to be presented here because we met them relatively late, in 2014 during workshops in Cambridge. But since then we've danced frequently at encuentros all over Europe and many milongas in the UK.

Nick is one of my favourite Di Sarli partners and I always try to catch his mirada when I hear the first notes of any song. Krissy is just wonderful and like mine, one of her favourite orchestras is Biagi. Such a warm person and great hugger. Both of them actually. Abrazadores par excellence!

Krissy and Nick teach and organise milongas in the Hertfordshire area and Krissy offers classes for leading ladies - sometimes with her friend Nicky Mellor. Nick, a TV film editor in real life, is also a committed dj.

There is another thing I particularly like about Nick: his outspokenness when it comes to British politics. After reading his Facebook posts, I feel entirely free to say "Bollocks to Brexit"!

In this video on Eleanor's blog, you can watch Nick dancing, but unfortunately there is no film that shows him with Krissy. That's a shame, because I love watching them move ever so smoothly. Can someone please film them at an event, so that I can post a link?

The photo below is also by Cristina Campagna.

So, it seems that I am done for the moment. I won't apologise for the length of the article, because I already had to restrict myself to not introduce even more British milongueros or continue my love letter to the few I chose. 

Let me finish with yet another video by Matthew. It features most protagonists of this article and many more of our friends. I'm also in it, leading the "Git Up" at the FCA. Apart from showing the friendship and love that binds us, this film proves once more that milongueros are first and foremost great fun!

I wish everyone a Happy New Year and a much better 2020. 

Reflections of a tango professional

Warning: 
This post contains boring, disenchanting or even disturbing details about the life of a tango professional. 

I have long pondered whether I can actually publish this, because it might be severely misunderstood. This is why I have to prepend the following:

This article is in no way meant as a complaint about my situation. I really like my job and find it rewarding to help grow an international tango community, meet lots of interesting people and bring joy by promoting such a wonderful dance. I also cannot deny, that I savour the attention, positive feedback and respect for my work. Ah... and dancing with a lovely person who has absorbed some of our principles into his or her dance! I get to reap the harvest of our endeavours directly in the milongas or encuentros. I have actively chosen tango over the career as a psychologist and am glad I did.

But as you know, I am a very realistic and rather prosaic person and a lot of my tango friends, students and clients do not seem to know what my profession actually consists of or implies. Their romantic misconceptions often leave me speechless. At first. Then I try to explain and get carried away. That can be quite annoying for the person whom I am talking to because they were just making polite small-talk. This post is so that I can say: read my blog. 



Here are the facts about my life as a tango teacher, dj and organiser.

1. Job description
My main activity is not dancing or being at milongas. It is not even teaching. 
What I do mostly is to sit in my office (or elsewhere) in front of my computer. This is where I spend 80-90% of my work hours with: event-, class- and travel organisation, preparing local team meetings, building and updating several websites, analysing or preparing music for classes or milongas, updating client data, editing videos, preparing class-content, writing and sending out class material, communicating with students, organisers or team members, writing invoices and bills of delivery, advertising in several languages and much more. A huge part of this involves spreadsheets, online forms and lists and is as exciting as the work of an accountant. Luckily I don't mind such tasks. But add some more annoying work like buying provisions for events or teacher-trainings, cleaning the studio or setting up venues and you'll understand my typical work day. Yes, there are the days during which I teach or dance, but even then the overhead work does not go anywhere. It still has to be done. 
In general I can say: My most important tools aren't dance shoes but the computer and my most important body parts aren't my legs but my brain. I could very easily do most of my work with a broken leg, but basically nothing without my computer.
When I am at home, I get up early in the morning and spend my day in front of the screen until dinner. I try to make a break around noon for a workout and breakfast. In the evenings, I watch a series or movie with my non-tango-sweetheart and go to bed around 11. I usually read 1/2 hour before I fall asleep. 
On rare days, I retire to my sofa in the afternoon because I started work before 6 in the morning. But as I take my computer with me, I usually end up working again. Like now. 
I do not take holidays and I will answer your e-mails within a day (usually within the hour) even on X-Mas or my birthday. 

2. Business travels
How come that everyone wishes me "have fun" when I am travelling to someplace for workshops? Would you say the same to an executive or engineer going to a business conference? Apart from the very few times per year that I go to an encuentro just to dance, travelling stands for a series of very challenging days with only few hours of sleep. Apart from classes, demos and dj-gigs, I squeeze in all the duties described above in the hours free of the payed work. Again, I love my work, but it is still work and I'd rather hear "I wish you lots of energy or success" than "have fun" as if I were going on a holiday. 
On business trips, I don't have time for sightseeing. Although I travel to many exciting places, I seldom see anything apart the tango venues, hotels, airports, train-stations and restaurants. And no, it does usually not make sense to stay a few days longer. I just spent some time in Austria with friends prior to an engagement in Slovenia. It was lovely, but the two extra days of group activities meant that I arrived less well rested than usual for work and overhead tasks piled up. I cannot allow myself to do this very often.
On days of traveling from A to B, I have some more time to read a book, because working whilst driving a car or sitting in a plane does not function well for me. If a train is not too full, I sometimes manage a few tasks on my computer, but I usually do not get a lot done because of the iffy internet. Traveling itself can take up two entire days per week. Judging by the actual work-output, you could call these holidays, but considering the amount of fatigue and stress, I am not sure if I can agree with this interpretation. 
In the past, we traveled up to 46 week(ends) per year. Now we are at home more often because of two encuentros, a 4-module tango-teacher-training, as well as workshops and classes in our studio. Less travel reduces my general stress level but increases the overhead-workload. How so? Well, when we give workshops at a festival or local school, the organisers will manage the client-bookings and payments, a huge part of the advertising and all local logistics. When we offer a workshop in our hometown, all of this is my job. 

3. Financial aspects of tango dj-ing
To dj does not generate an income to speak of, but is rather a very expensive and time-consuming hobby. A well known tango-dj can earn between 100€ and 250€ per gig plus expenses. (A local non-tango-dj in a disco earns a minimum of 500€.) Taking into consideration that you will have to buy lots of music and expensive equipment, the profit will be around zero, if not a loss. Some popular djs who live in an area with many regular milongas might be able to make a modest income, but usually even they have day jobs to pay the rent. When I am invited to dj at an encuentro, I see it as a great opportunity to play music for nice dancers, to get into an event for free and have my travel-expenses covered. My salary will most likely be spent on meals during the weekend. 

4. Financial aspects of organising events
Organising events or milongas will usually not be profitable. Sure, if you've got a regular milonga with more than 100 visitors in your own studio and you don't pay an external dj... But most local milongas just cover the expenses or make a loss. Our local milongas often are within the deficit range, but we see them as important service for our students and the community. 
Events like encuentros can generate a profit. But please note that the biggest part of the income will still go into the venue, djs, other staff, equipment, catering, insurances and taxes. Sure, if the organisers are smart, an event with 200 visitors can make an income of 1000-5000€. Sounds a lot? Not if you consider the work hours that go into organising it. 
Please be aware that the only ways of making an appropriate income with events would be:
- Reducing the expenses and therefore the quality and/or exploiting djs and helpers. Which would be evil and stupid!
- Raising prices. That would be the sensible thing to do, but tangueros will complain when the event costs 120€ instead of 85€. Considering that the entrance fee is the smallest expense over a weekend... well... 

5. Financial aspects of teaching
The only activity that can generate a decent income in tango is teaching. But even then, I do not know any tango teacher who could be considered as wealthy by normal standards. 
I live from tango since 2006 and cannot complain. Actually I think that we are better off than many other tango teachers (see note below *):
We have (a little) above average per hour prices and therefore generate an appropriate income. Our lifestyle is acceptable: we never had to hunger, we rent nice apartments and I can afford to buy a new Macbook and iPhone every 5 years. Or books and videos. Or invite a friend for dinner in a restaurant and give money to family needy members. But I do not own a house, our car is old and I do not have a pension plan. Why is that?
- Because of the disadvantageous proportion of classes (payed work) to overhead (not payed work). I will usually not teach more than 6-10 hours per week, sometimes less, because we do not travel all the time. 
But teaching is my only income to speak of. So why don't we teach more? Well, even if there were more engagements, I would not have the time to actually take on more classes because of the overhead workload and the traveling from A to B. When we started traveling for workshop weekends, we decided to give up our regular classes in three cities. It would have been just too much.
The ratio of payed/not-payed work is better during tango-holidays (14-20 teaching hours per week) and teacher trainings (25-30).  
- We do only seldom take on privates during workshop weekends or festivals, because we have to preserve our energy for group classes for which the organiser carries the financial risk. We also do not charge for demos - unless it is during a festival where the other teachers also get payed for their shows.
- Because in spite of a good turnover, work-related expenses are quite high and we spend a considerable part of our income in tango again: travel to encuentros as paying customers, buy tango music, software, online services, ads in tango magazines, studio rent, equipment, paying staff, inviting clients for dinner... yes, I also buy shoes and dresses - but from what I can tell, much less than most dancers.
- We often give substantial reductions to people with a low income, in rare cases up to 100%. Sometimes, I even offer free classes or seminars for entire groups because I want the tango community to develop. In tango, one cannot just take, one has to give as well to keep the system running. 
Had I pursued my career as a psychologist, things would look very different.

6. Expiration date of tango careers
Unless you are an "old Argentine maestro or milonguero", who will still be invited for classes abroad and highly respected in Buenos Aires, please do not expect to make a great living from tango once that you've passed a certain age. Younger, better dancers are constantly popping up and the memories of customers are surprisingly short. No matter how impressive your résumé as a teacher or how much you have perfected pedagogical skills, you will eventually be discharged. 
And even if not: can you imagine how the above described workload will feel when you're 75? Would you really want to travel that much, live out of your suitcase, often staying at tango people's homes without any privacy at an advanced age? I actually pity the "old ones" who still have to go on tour. 
Successful local teachers in big cities will have better prospects, but only if they play their cards well and integrate young talent. 
Rigorose diet and exercise (or just good genes) as well as plastic surgery might also help, but Detlef and I have now both passed the 50s-demarcation and I stopped colouring my hair recently. We're not young anymore and one can see it.
This last consideration may sound particularly harsh and bitter, but I am just being realistic. I have been teaching tango and expanding my business for 18 years. I do not regret having chosen this path, but I'd better start working on a backup plan. 

Conclusion:
The life of a tango teacher, organiser and dj is not in the least bit as glamorous as you imagine. Sure, there might be the few top-notch "maestros" who do not prepare their classes, are so famous that they do not need to take care of publicity, will answer mails with a delay of weeks and can spend their retirement on the beach. But I guess that these are rare exceptions. And even then: these artists might spend hours per day practising or preparing choreographies. That's maybe a little bit more exciting than managing the pizza-list for our encuentro, but it is also hard work. I guess.

Please consider all this:
- when you see me or another professional being tired or not dancing a lot during a workshop weekend,
- before you complain about the costs for a class or an event,
- before you plan on taking up one of these activities professionally.

... in particular if your partner is not a tanguero. You need a very, very understanding sweetheart. Luckily, I do.



* This is just a guess, because I know of so many tango stars living in tiny flats or even entirely out of their suitcases. But maybe they are just smarter and saving money for the future. It is true that I do not see a lot of professional teachers at tango events unless they are there for work. As mentioned above: we still go to encuentros a couple of times per year and everyone knows how expensive these trips can be. I guess we could save a lot of money by not going or by participating for free and staying with local dancers. But we don't feel comfortable with such practises and we love dancing. So: spending money for tango is indispensable. Also: what would be the point of teaching a social dance and not dance yourself? Right?


P.S. Here is a link to a post from 2011. As you can see, my general perspective has not changed over the years. 

Of Dragons and Bad Hair

"Dragons! Ever since he was two years old he had been captivated by the pictures of the fiery beasts in The Octarine Fairy Book. His sister had told him that they didn’t really exist, and he recalled the bitter disappointment. If the world didn’t contain those beautiful creatures, he’d decided, it wasn’t half the world it ought to be."

(The Color of Magic - A novel of Discworld by Terry Pratchett)

This is exactly how I always felt. And I was not only missing the dragons. What about vampires, werewolves, witches and wizards? Where were the shining queens, kings and knights? No monsters, no gods, no goblins to be seen. No resurrection, no epic battles, no magic. No magic!

Instead of Galadriel, we get a boring politician with a bad haircut, instead of Sauron a stupid liar with even worse hair. So disappointing.

But there have always existed magicians! They are the ones who take words and create worlds out of them with the pure power of their imagination. The story-tellers, authors, writers of the past and present.

I love music, dance and the fine arts. And movies! But literature for me is the highest form of art. (Please excuse my bias, my dear artist friends and even my beloved.) This is why I have been reading my whole life, why I started to study literature, why I did roleplaying-games, why I always wanted to write a novel - until a friend told me that I’d be crappy at it. Now I might be too old to complete my studies and too discouraged to write, but I can still read. So everything is fine.

But is it?

Where have all the magicians gone? 

Don’t get me wrong, I always cherished the approach of describing our world and its inhabitants in realistic or sometimes idealistic forms as done by many important authors of the 19th century: Zola, Dickens, Jane Austin, the Brontes, Mrs. Gaskell, Henry James … Today there are great writers who follow in their footsteps and there are lots of good reads lying ahead. But I was from an early age very much attracted by Bram Stoker and Mary Shelley and those others who created worlds full of mystery, monsters and magic. My true heroes are the fantastic authors of the 20th century: J.R.R. Tolkien, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Umberto Eco, Terry Pratchett.

(I am aware that most critics would not include Pratchett in such an illustrious list, but I believe he was a master.)

The problem is: now they are all dead and I’m seriously running out of fantastic novels to read. Most newer publications have rather disenthralled me. Sure, Steven King ist still living, but after having produced masterpieces like It or The Stand he has long failed to write another comparably compelling story. 

(Again with the alliterations! I guess this is why I should not write!)

There is one magician left: Neil Gaiman. 

Neverwhere, American Gods, The Ocean at the End of the Lane… Those are books that open windows to other worlds and by this make the most poignant observations about our so-called reality, our lives and our fears. I think he’s great. Also quite cute - in spite of the funny hair. 

But I am beginning to fear that his fame might keep him from writing great books in the future. He is getting a little too popular and busy posting about his talented wife, his book signings and the TV-adaptation of American Gods. Yes, I am going to watch and like it. And yes, his latest work Norse Mythology was as illuminating as it was amusing, but dear Mr. Gaiman: I need a new world to discover.

Because the one in which we are living is getting more dreadful and boring by the hour. Someone has to help me get off the internet and read more about Brexit, Trump and the other evils in my work-free hours.

So please write another outstanding novel into which I can escape. Now?

Great Expectations

Today, I am celebrating my 20-years-tango anniversary. 

This seems like a good opportunity to check, if I am happy with what I achieved in my tango life. At least this is how my post will start, but I could not prevent it from ending up in my usual rant. So, if you are looking for an unconditional praise of tango, better don't hold your breath. ;-)

On October, 28th in the year of 1995 - last century - a much younger Melina and her partner started participating in a tango practica, that a dancer from Berlin had started in their home town. Unfortunately this first encounter with tango was quite unsatisfying. Showing someone a step and then letting the students fool around, did not meet my expectations of learning a dance. Also back then, there weren‘t any milongas, so the whole thing was kind of pointless. Which is why after a year of dabbling, we stopped going to that practica.

But we did not forget Tango, went on practising our steps once in a while, somehow knowing that there must be more to it. Dreaming of something better...

In January 2000 we found that a small tango-community had developed without us noticing. Now there was a real school with milongas and workshops. So much better than before, although the classes still consisted of memorising steps. But now they were presented in a more professional way. Luckily we soon discovered another school in a neighbouring town. They danced in a close embrace, used Cabeceo and Cortinas, taught some tango technique (before showing the new step) and were friendly and welcoming. We had found our tango home.

You all know what happened soon: I got to know Detlef, we started danced together, we were asked to teach a pre-milonga class in another city, then more... We started giving regular classes in several towns, travelling a little, then more, gave up our normal professions, started working internationally... Our story is not unique, but I am quite proud with what we achieved. 

I had never fantasised about being a tango teacher. In the beginning, just wanted to dance nicely. After starting to teach, I just aimed to do a good job. Nothing more or less. And therefore all my expectations were exceeded in every possible way: Although we were neither argentine, nor young and attractive, although our dance is quite plainly, we not only managed to make a living from being tango professionals, but so much more. We have grown a solid reputation for our technical, musical and pedagogic approach and for organising or promoting quality events. We have even had a part in building an international community of close embrace dancers and friends. Without having to fake anything or to compromise our philosophy. Quality, reliability and authenticity have been my main guidelines in these last years. And I am really content with the outcome. When I go to a tango event nowadays, there is such an good chance, that I get nice dances in a pleasant environment. 

I am also happy about what I learned by teaching and organising. From my students, from the exchange with other dancers, in recent years through the research of music, our Tango-Teacher-Training (TTT) and the work on our book+DVD. I feel as if have been given a great gift: a profession in which I can help people to widen their horizons and offer them the opportunity to discover the joy of embracing to the music. It is wonderful to see the concentrated and happy faces in a class or a milonga. I don‘t need everyone to be a world champion or an image of myself, but if people after a class walk a little nicer or pay more attention to their partners and to the music, that‘s already a lot gained. I do my best, but I cannot produce miracles. 

The problem is: with my general approach of wanting to do everything as good as possible, I might have involuntarily contributed to a rise of expectations, that have gotten quite out of hand.

First of all, let me explain, that I am no perfectionist. By saying "I try to do everything as good as possible" you should pay attention to the second part of the sentence. "As good as possible" means: subject to one‘s capabilities, limitations and resources.
My job as a tango organiser/teacher/dj/manager/author requires that I complete a lot of different tasks in a limited time with very limited resources. When I write a promotional e-mail in 3-4 languages, my aim is to inform my customers about an upcoming even, not to gain a nobel price for literature. When doing a demo, I try to embody our pedagogical and philosophical principles, but I don‘t want to earn a championship. When organising an event, I want people to have a good time, but I don‘t promise a weekend in a luxury resort. When teaching a class, I do the same as any teacher at university or in another professional context should do, but I am neither a genius, not do I have a master degree in music, medicine or classical dance. I try to do as good as possible. 
In order to be perfect, I would need more time, help, intellect, talent, financial resources... and even then, I would fail, because nothing can ever be perfect. Mistakes or shortcomings will eventually happen. Usually they can be corrected or they are minor. But they will happen. 

The problem is: nowadays, many people expect everything to be perfect. And this is why great undertakings can fail completely in the eyes of the consumers. It is a well-known phenomenon. Which is why in politics, campaign managers aim to lower expectations for their candidates before a public discussion, so that they will be able to exceed them in reality. (Or at least that is what I learned from watching "Westwing".) In the world of finance, perfectly good winnings of a firm can result in a catastrophic fall of the stocks, because the market expected them to be even higher. 

And this is what happens in the tango world, at least when it comes to events, no matter if it is local Milongas or international Encuentros:
The consumer wants to dance every tanda and it has to be the snuggliest, most musical dance he or she has ever had. The floor has to be perfect, not too hard and not too soft, not too sticky and not too slippery. The lighting has do be perfect, neither too bright, nor too dark. The decoration, drinks and snacks have to be luscious. There has to be a hair dryer, deodorant and many other conveniences for your free use in the perfectly lit bathroom. The music has to come out of the most  expensive speakers arranged in the perfect manner to allow for a constant, unblemished sound experience. The DJ cannot afford to play one imperfect tanda and he will surely be a total loser, if he does not own a fancy external sound drive. Not to mention the catastrophe, if he or she - god forbid - uses MP3 instead of WAV or FLAC files. And of course: the event has to be exclusive and small, but YOU have to be admitted. If not, you are going to pout.

I could go on, but you certainly get the point. 

But it is even worse: this premium service has to come for a price not exceeding 5€ for a Milonga or 75€ for a whole Encuentro. And beware if an event is known to generate a profit at all. Shame on the organisers! They are supposed to do it for free. Out of the goodness of their hearts.

Get outta here!

What do you pay, when you go to the movies? What do you spend on a single pair of shoes? What do you pay for a weekend on the golf course? Do you begrudge your hairdresser his income? Or the pilot who flies the plane that you take to go to the Encuentro? Or the hotel owner?

Now I personally cannot complain, but most (not all) tango consumers have a much larger income than their tango teachers or organisers. I have rarely seen a tango professional with an own house, a fancy car or even with a pension plan. Those are rare animals. Most barely make a living. A tango professional can himself lucky, if he is doing ok, but he will never become rich or even well-off. At least not by european standards. So why do customers expect the luxury treatment?

Let us have a look back: When we started organising Tangokombinat Milongas, we used my old private Technics speakers that were barely powerful enough, but everyone was happy. We even used them during our first FCA during the Despedida. Later we started renting speakers for an increasing amount of money and spend hours of trying out or discussing how to set them up. Finally, Detlef bought a set of Tannoy speakers for thousands of €, because everything less fancy is regarded as stingy. And it is still not good enough for everyone. 

Another example: Because everyone hates plastic cups and what they are doing to the environment, we now use hand-painted personalised glasses. Better? Obviously not, because now but people complain about the fact, that glasses might break.

By trying to do better every year, constantly reacting to suggestions and the slightest critique of clients, we have created expectations, that we cannot fulfil any more. Because last year was top, this year has to be even better. If it is not, it is a flop.

It is not just our events. The first time that I noticed this effect, was a couple of years ago at another Festivalito. This was the second edition. The first edition was such a great success, that everyone complimented the organisers on their good work. The second time, some minor bugs had been sorted out, but the general format remained exactly the same. But now a big number of participants started complaining about the silliest things. The organiser was in tears when talking to me.

I am not an easy customer either: when I go some place, I want to get what I have payed for and what I have been promised. So, if something is called an Encuentro, I expect an equal number of followers and leaders, music in Tandas & Cortinas, a room that allows for Mirada & Cabeceo, enough seats for the majority of participants, dancers that have a general knowledge on how to move on a social dancefloor and a friendly organiser who gives the impression, that he/she likes what he/she is doing. Ok, so the floor has to be ok and one has to actually hear the music from the speakers. But that‘s it and I try to keep my expectations realistic. When I go to certain sort of French event, I usually don‘t expect a super pretty venue, because I know that they often use the free "salle polyvalente" of a village. When I go to an Italian encuentro, I don‘t expect every DJs to match my taste perfectly, because I know that many of them prefer a very energetic style. But then, I don‘t have to dance every tanda. I don‘t expect flowers on the tables, a choice of excellent wines or a crowd of tango professionals only. And when I attend a local Milonga, I don‘t expect the same conditions than at an international Encuentro. 

When I book at room at a local motel, I don‘t expect the Ritz. When I go to Mac Donald‘s I don‘t expect haute cuisine.

If I don‘t like an event because it does not meet my basic expectations and if I think that the shortcomings can be changed without too much of an effort or going against the organisers general philosophy, I might offer to give a feedback. In the USA, it will sometimes occur that an organiser asks for feedback. (We - Detlef and I - are used to asking for Feedback from day one of our tango "career".) I will in any case give an honest, but productive feedback, whilst focussing on the important things, the stuff, that really matters. If I am very unhappy with an event and I don't think that there is a chance that the setup is changed, I'd rather not go there anymore. But then I will certainly not rave about it on Facebook at the same time. (Exaggerated flattery being another annoying topic, that I won‘t go into now.) 

I behave in that way, because I know what it takes to organise an event and that not everything can be to my taste. And because I don‘t need it to be perfect. I can compromise without being unhappy all the time. And I have to say: mostly, things are good out there. Or at least much better, than they used to be. I know, because If have seen, how it started. 

Ok, now that may sound a little like: "eat your soup children, in wartime, we would have been happy to have such a feast". But we all know, that always wanting to get more for a cheaper price is one of the defining problems of modern society. As in Tango.

What I want to say is: You are entitled to quality, if you invest time and money for something. Every organiser or teacher should aim for it as well and keep on questioning  if what he or she is doing is still up to his standards. One should do so, because there are still a lot of things worth improvement in our tango world. But please keep your expectations realistic and don‘t ask for unachievable perfection. Because then, you'll never be happy with what you do or get.

One last thing: Why don‘t tangueros in general have the same expectations, apply the same crieria when it comes to instruction? I don't want to say, that only we know how to teach, but sometimes I get a little upset, when after years of meticulous class preparations, musical research, well-structured workshops, professional behaviour, projections and written class handouts... why have I not managed to raise expectations in this field? How can students still rave about teachers that show a fancy step and then spend the rest of their time doing moves with their partners. 20 years ago, I expected more. Why don‘t others as well? I guess I have to be even more patient and realistic. And continue offering my Tango-Teacher-Training. ;-)

So... I should stop now.

But my tango journey has not yet come to an end. I hope I live to see the next 20 years of development and won‘t be disappointed by it. I will certainly do my best to keep it on track.


The venue of our first regular Milonga in 2003:

The venue of our latest event in 2015:

Photo by Thorsten Janes