Stranger Things: An Homage to RPGs and the Nerds

 Yesterday was the season finale of Stranger Things.

I guess most of my friends haven’t seen it – either because you were dancing, or because you’re too grown-up to watch a horror-roleplay-coming-of-age story.

Well. I am not.

Despite my best efforts to become a valuable part of society as a psychologist, I ended up as a tango teacher and roleplaying-games (RPG) creator – inventing settings of music and fantasy, somehow escaping from the bleak world around us.

Stranger Things is a TV show about RPG horrors that suddenly invade the real world. And about the misfits who confront and conquer the dark. And although the show itself was not consistently good – and my suspension of disbelief was seriously challenged at times – I was profoundly moved by the finale yesterday.

Let me tell you why.

Growing up in Germany, there was never such a strict division between the popular crowd, the followers, and the misfits. My friends were a very mixed bunch who defied those categories entirely. At school and at university, I was well integrated, had good grades, and didn’t display any obvious flaws – apart from the tendency to speak up whenever I saw something I found unjust or wrong. (I never masked my inner Buffy very well.)

But when I discovered RPGs in my mid-twenties (very late!), I definitely bonded with the nerds. The ones who did not quite fit – because they were neither conventionally attractive, sporty, nor particularly outgoing. Most of these young guys didn’t have girlfriends, and many of them were far on the spectrum. And yes, there were almost no (young) women present. 

And yet, I still fit in. Maybe because I am not as shiny as I look – but mainly because we shared a love for stories, for history, for the power of made-up worlds in which our characters could overcome inner demons and outer dangers. (Okay, maybe also because I was relatively successful in “normal society”, I usually played tragic, broken, or handicapped characters. I was never particularly interested in playing the flawless heroes that many of my RPG friends preferred.)

Still, I was deeply involved in RPGs and with the nerds – something many of my “normal” friends found strange at best. But they had to accept my nerd-friends into their circles and so, in my world, the geeks and the normies were joined. But I know that even today, many of my tango friends don't understand my fascination with this phenomenon. Some may even look down on me, because they find it childish.  

Back to Stranger Things: the entire show – and especially the finale – was not just an homage to roleplaying games. It was a dedication to us, the nerds. Yes, I count myself in!

We throw ourselves completely into a topic and read everything about it, even if it doesn’t seem interesting or useful in everyday life. We know everything about medieval weaponry, obscure history, arcane technical details – and yes, we are also the ones obsessed with computers and the internet. When I started RPGs in the early 90s, I was still very opposed to computers, but my nerd-friends convinced me and now, the world has changed entirely because of them. Like it or not, but the geeks were the vanguard.

And there’s more. Roleplaying games might seem silly to you, but at their core they are incredibly complex simulations of life. They are spaces where people don’t just practice problem-solving, tactics, and strategic planning, but also experiment with and develop social skills: The pimply kid may only be charming while playing an attractive bard – but give him time to grow, and he’ll show the same skills in real life, if someone is willing to overlook that he isn’t as muscly as the good-looking baseball player. Because you cannot actually fake these social or intellectual skills in RPGs either. They need to grow in you and RPGs can help with that. 

And this is why Stranger Things made me oddly happy: The series truly acknowledges the nerds and their obsession with RPGs. In the 80's roleplaying games was not only seen as weird, but even as dangerous. Now, so many years later, it has been elevated into the canon of "cool-things-to-do". I love that! 

Sure, the trope of “the glorious nerd” was already celebrated in Buffy and The Big Bang Theory. But those stories focused on young adults. In Stranger Things, we see the nerds as insecure kids, see them grow up, save the world, and find their place in society – without losing what makes them unique.

Dustin’s valedictorian speech at the end of this season summed all of this up beautifully.

So here’s what I’m saying: stick to the nerds. Because – when the zombie apocalypse comes, it will be them who solve the problems.

Okay, to be fair, some of those problems might well be created by the older generation of successful nerds – but hey, let’s not ruin the story here.

Because to me, stories matter.

Musings in the Morning.

This is a strange morning. 

In the past weeks, I’ve written non-stop for my new RPG project. But yesterday I finished a milestone because the upcoming weeks will be non-stop teaching. So this morning, I found myself without an immediate task. Half a day without work, before I have to do the shopping for the TTT. 

This is when my mind starts roaming. 

I was born in London and when I was a child, our family moved a lot. We even lived in Barcelona for a year before we settled in the most American of all German towns: Kaiserslautern. It was neither very fascinating, nor particularly nice. But I always thought, that one day, I’d live in London again. Because my parents were travel agents, I continued travelling to beautiful places. There was not a lot of boredom. Actually, as a child, I was rather annoyed by the constant voyages and preferred to stay at home with my friends. Friend were always important to me. 

Because of them, I then went to study in Saarbrücken, just 70 kilometres away from Kaiserslautern. Saarbrücken is a smaller city right on the French border. It has some fine enough parts, but is not very beautiful in my opinion. 

As a student, I nevertheless felt quite connected to the city: lots of cultural and political activities going on, plenty of new friends to make. I still told myself, however, that I would move after I’m done with university. But then my studies dragged on, work as a psychologist came and went, tango started, and it did not matter where I lived because we travelled all the time anyway.

In these past 25 years, I’ve seen gorgeous places: historical towns in Italy, impressive cities in the USA, the serene countryside in the UK. I’ve enjoyed these locations for a few days, but then went home again. 

But is this really home? In fact, I have lost all connections to the city itself, I barely go out anymore and have no interest in the cultural activities here. Yet, we have the Tangokombinat studio in the same building where we live. This is very convenient, and I don't need to use the car a lot. Detlef and I have our regular classes and people come from all over the world to study and dance with us. But even to them, Saarbrücken is not very attractive. Our clients come for the tango, not for the location. 

I could teach, work and live anywhere! Most of my long-time tango-friends live elsewhere, and I’d be integrated in some other community in no time. I can also do my RPG writing from anywhere I wish. All of our team meetings are via Zoom anyway! The same goes for my sweetheart. He, too, could work from any place in the world.

And there is another very good reason to tear down the tents: One day, I will be too old and poor to travel and there won't be anymore invitations to teach in foreign countries. Tango will be over for me, if I continue living here. In ten years from now, this might already be reality. So maybe the smart thing to do would be to move to a city, where tango exists independent from myself organising it. 

But will I?

I still have my non-tango friends, la famiglia, who are very dear to me. They are the most important reason to stay. But also rents and living expenses are relatively low, and I can easily develop my dance-therapy activities in our Tangokombinat studio in the years to come. Most beautiful places are incredibly expensive or there are political reasons that prevent me from settling there. Here, it is convenient. Again that word!

Yesterday, a weird thing occurred. A car burned down due to a technical defect just opposite from where we live. Was this a sign of doom? A sign to move away? Or a reason to stay because now, after all, something exciting has happened in our street? 

I might be stuck here for good.

(Photo Credit: SR )

Ageing in Tango

The last months were just crazy, so I've not a lot of time to write here, but I gave an interview about ageing in tango from my perspective.

Check it out here: 

The Straight Way Lost

Have I lost it? I don't know...

All these years, I was working the mission in a very straightforward manner. Always trying to be a better tango teacher, organiser, dancer... Growing and maintaining a business! Living the tango life. But now I am definitely at a point where decisions have to be made. 

Tango has not recovered from the corona regulations. Will it get better?

I have started a dance therapy training. Will that be a new me?

And I have written a book. A 400-page roleplaying book which is now on Kickstarter. This project has helped me get through the corona years, was a great pleasure and a huge endeavour. Still is! 

We are now in the last 4 days of the campaign and would love to get some more backers to reduce the deficit. Do you know what such a project costs? I won't tell. I just wanna say that the official kickstarter goal is far from it. 

So, if you want to help: back us now!

Click here!

Growing Old in Tango

A few days ago, I attended a seminar about "Dance Classes with Senior Citizens". This got me thinking about ageing in tango. 

Again.

When I started dancing tango, I was in my early 30’s and pleased about how age did not seem to matter: Young people were dancing with older ones. Also social dance is something that you can do at any age if you are willing to adapt your movements over the time. All seemed fine in tango-wonderland.

But this was when there just were only few dancers and milongas and everyone was happy to dance with whomever else showed up. 

Now tango has diversified and the sheer number of dancers allows for more age-appropriate and interest-based sub-groups. I actually find that a good development, because now I don't have to listen to neo-tango-music anymore or deal with being led into ganchos. This is nice. 

But I still worry - in particular about all of us who are used to travelling so much to meet their friends and dance at international tango events. 

There are two main issues: 

1. Acceptance of older dancers at events: It is quite obvious that old age is not very much appreciated when it comes to choosing dance partners. It is kind of ok in the encuentro community where many dancers are way past 60 or 70. But even there, events seem to segregate between the encuentros for older dancers and the ones for a more mixed crowd. 

For me, not dancing is really not the main issue as I dance much more now than when I was much younger. Back in the day - even at the height of our "career" - I used to sit a lot and found most milongas or events super depressing. Now I seldom lack partners, also (but not only) because I dance both roles. But I know that it is a huge problem for many other women of my age or older. 

And when I look at the much younger marathon community, I fear that many of those who are popular now, will be very disappointed when they are being replaced by younger dancers in the future. This applies of course more to women than to men, where old age seems to be more accepted. Why, I do not know. 

2. What happens when we all become too old to travel or cannot afford it anymore because we are living on a small pension? So many of the local communities have been drained of dancers and collapsed because of the exodus of the more experienced dancers towards international events. 

I am happy that we are turning the wheel in our hometown and are building quite nice local community. But what if I become too old to dance at all? I'll miss not only the dance, but also the company, the hugs, the chats... And even if I manage to  keep on dancing a bit where I live, I am definitely going to miss all of my international friends when I stop travelling and they stop coming to our events. I actually miss many of you already.

There are so many dancers with whom we have bonded in these 22 years as tango teachers, but whom we might never meet again. I used to meet you at workshop weekends in your local or regional communities, but as we are not anymore invited to teach in this places, many are becoming distant memories. And also this is due to a process of ageing.

Not because of dementia though. 

Detlef and I are both in our later 50’s and in Argentina we’d be called "maestros of the maestros". Thousands of dancers all over Europe and the USA - many of them now teaching - have taken classes with us or even participated in our teacher trainings. This should count for something. But the contrary is the case. Despite the fact, that we are now way more experienced than in our 30's, we receive almost no more engagements for workshop weekends or events. 

Don’t get me wrong: I saw this development coming for many years as our western culture is bound to sort out the older generation. I also witnessed this process with other formerly famous  colleagues. The corona pandemic has somehow accelerated the development for us but it was bound to happen. I don't complain, but take it as an opportunity to slowly transition towards other fields of engagement. 

But I am going to miss you. 

That said: This weekend we’ll be meeting many friends at a sweet encuentro France. Then we’ll be in Portugal for two weeks and then there is Pequeña… So...

Carpe Diem! 

Do not obsess about repertoire!

 This is just a short reminder for all leaders (male or female) in Tango: 

Do not obsess about boring your followers with your limited repertoire. 

During a milonga, followers will dance with all kinds of leaders and each of them has a different musicality, repertoire and embrace. So unless this follower will dance with you only, he or she will have enough variety in the dance. 

In addition to that most followers complain about leaders trying to dance too many "steps" and therefore forget about musicality and embrace. Hence: less (steps) is more (wellbeing)!

Female leaders should actually know that because most of them have been making exactly this statement for years when they were "only" following. But as soon as they start leading, they forget about it. Very stupid.

The only person being bored by a limited repertoire is the leader him- or herself and this is quite understandable as she or he has to dance the same steps over and over again. So if you want to enlarge your repertoire, please do it for your own sake, not with the excuse of having to entertain "the ladies". 

But remember: Unless you are very skilled in leading and adapting the repertoire to music and partner, the steps will only stress the followers. 

Last tip: Female tango teachers are particularly annoyed by all the leaders wanting to impress them and show how they can dance better than their dance partner. THIS is really boring. A nice embrace and connection to the music however can never be boring. 

So: cut it out! 

My most exciting non-tango project!

Today, I am would like to share some information about a wonderful project I’ve been working on since corona started in 2020. It has got nothing to do with tango, but please bear with me for one moment. This work has helped me to get through the past two years, not only financially, but also motivationally. 

So, what is this about?

I have written a roleplaying adventure and am now supervising the illustration and production of the book. The Straight Way Lost will be published by Vortex-Verlag via a Kickstarter campaign in mid-2023 and I’d be happy about contributions and recommendations to your friends.
In case you do not know what a roleplaying game is, please click here.

This work might be of interest not only to those who love roleplaying games, but everyone who is intrigued by renaissance history, the work of Dante Alighieri, beautiful art or mythology. 

The story is based on the ancient tale of a voyage into the underworld and back again, one that lies at the base of all classical and medieval sagas:
It is the year 1492 in the mighty city-state of Florence. Girolamo Savonarola, the charismatic prior of San Marco is fighting to rid society of the decay that has beset it under the reign of the Medici family. The adventurers are drawn into this political game of intrigue and set out to find a cure for the evil that has befallen their home. Their journey will lead them into the realm of the mysterious fey queen of the Apennine, but only after following in the footsteps of Dante Alighieri through the netherworlds can the heroes return to face the tyrant and help create their City On A Hill.

Illustrations in very distinctive styles for the different stages of the voyage are by Jana Heidersdorf, Mark Smylie (see below) and Gwenevere Singley. The layout will be done by my partner Thorsten Janes, who has already worked with Detlef an me on Caminar Abrazados. The Straight Way Lost will be a wonderful addition to any art-loving friend’s library.

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