Young and beautiful - a Tango obsession?

Tango is a great dance and a fabulous environment that brings together people from different countries, ways of life, as well as different age-groups. When talking to non-Tangueros about it, I strongly emphasise the positive features of our community.

But, in my opinion, the same characteristics of the Tango setting also promote an increasing obsession with a slim, beautiful and young body. It‘s become a veritable beauty craze!

Sure, our whole western society is founded on these principles and a lot of money is made with diet nutrition, beauty and skin-care products and cosmetic surgeries. But when I started dancing Tango, I perceived the participants of Milongas as relatively „normal“ people. Sure, especially women tended to dress up, but not more than in other ways of life. So, what has changed?

Let me first point out another defining characteristic of our Tango society: it is perceived as a big family and it‘s central activity is the Milonga or Festival. 

Many other dances are centred around activities like the learning, practising, performances and competitions. In these events, the professionals (or high ranking amateurs in ballroom dances) are mostly separated from the normal public. You watch them in a demo or competition, you take a class with them, but you won‘t dance with them in the Ronda. There are the professionals and artists, who have undergone an proper training at an academy or with personal coaches and here are the ordinary persons who just dance for fun. They don‘t mix a lot.

We all know that in Tango, life is completely different: 

• First of all, Tango professionals are expected to participate actively in the social events. If they keep apart too much, they will be perceived as big-headed and overly reclusive.
• Secondly, there is no official training for Tango teachers, so that any „ordinary dancer“ can ascent into the ranks of the demi-gods in black. I‘ve done that, so do others. ;-)

Apart from creating lots of problems in the modi operandi of this non-professional/professional setting (read also: It‘s a job, for god‘s sake!) the result is an high exposure to more elaborate concepts of beauty on a very regular and casual basis:

• Normal women (doctors, housewives or schoolteachers) meet professional dancers with their perfectly shaped bodies. Young professional dancers migrating in large numbers from BA since the start of the Campeonato Mundial increase these experiences.
• Middle aged dancers with a time-consuming job encounter young Tango-fanatics who decided to dance every hour of the day and form their body for this challenge.
• Northern European women with rather heavy body structures mingle with petite Argentine, French or Italian ladies. 
• Fairly „down-to-earth“ women communicate with those who come from cultures where women strive to be as beautiful, young and sexy as long as possible - think of all the Tangueras in Buenos Aires who have undergone cosmetic surgeries! A nice lady and acquaintance of mine was asked by her argentine friend, why she would not undergo a facelift - she should not have to live with her ageing features. Imagine!

The fact that traveling to international events has become much more important and common in the last few years increases this exposure to more extreme ideals of beauty. Its pressure on women is immensely high and one possible consequence (apart from depression) is an exaggerated obsession with beauty, an ideal figure and everlasting youth. So nowadays, when I go to a Tango-event, I see many more women with super-slim, perfectly shaped bodies in super-sexy and youthful clothes than in earlier times of my Tango life. The more you go to the „cooler“ events, the higher the dance-level gets, the more of these women you‘ll meet. Ok, not all of these women look really healthy, happy or dressed appropriately, but still.... They conform themselves to the standards.

So what about me?

When I started dancing Tango, I was in my early thirties, slim and not ugly. Most people I met in Tango were older than me, very few in the same age group. I did not aspire to become a Tango teacher, but I liked dancing and felt quite positive about my outer self. As you all know, I somehow got sucked into this parallel universe and ended up as a full-time Tango teacher, DJ and organiser. ;-)

And absurdly, by becoming a full-time Tango-teacher, I started to gain weight. Why?

Well, I travel most weeks of the year and am usually fed with tasty, but sometimes unhealthy and very often rich stuff. Holding onto a healthy diet is very difficult under these circumstances. You try resist the temptation, when every hosts prepares his or her most special meals or you are hungry and have to eat at airports or train stations.

Because of all that traveling, I also have much less time for sports that I did before. and when I'm at home, there's more work to be done: I prepare workshops and analyse music, I write and distribute class notes, I prepare my DJing gigs, I manage contracts on a professional basis... So, for me, being a Tango teacher means mostly sitting in trains, planes, cars or in front of the computer and standing vis-a-vis a group of students. There's not much physical exertion. (And the dancing? Yea... well, I wrote about that...)

So my work ethic in combination with the disadvantages of frequent travel do not contribute to maintaining a perfectly shaped body, especially if this body has the strong tendency to expand. ;-)

The result: Whilst I was gaining popularity, I was also getting more rotund. From the incredibly large number of female feedback, I have to assume, that my body features where indeed one reason for our success: So many of our female students explained that they are fed up with the young, skinny and perfect dancers and prefer a „normal“ or „average“ woman as their teacher. Well, good for them. 

Whilst they were happy with their round role model, I was becoming increasingly unhappy with my increasing proportions. This would also have been the case in a non-Tango environment, but the special conditions of the Tango world did not help to maintain my self-confidence. Try being the „biggest“ Maestra at a festival or coping with commentaries on Youtube like: „Nice dance, but the lady should pay more attention to her figure.“

It‘s no fun, I can assure you!

So, after years of suffering from an increasingly negative self-image (as well as permanent fatigue and frequent illness) I decided to change my ways and mutated into a fitness-freak: I am on a strict (healthy) diet - which is no fun for our organizers - work out every day and started practising Yoga.  Hell, I will even undergo a Yoga-teacher training beginning next January. My friends have trouble recognizing me!

But although such a metamorphosis costs a lot of willpower, the results of my activities are pleasing. My stamina has much improved, I am only rarely ill and can dance for hours at an Encuentro. All the great compliments do not hurt either... These transformations go hand in hand with our decision to travel and work less in the coming years. So even more positive changes are to come. Yay!

I am nevertheless worried: Two weeks ago in Impruneta, I found myself wearing a belly-free outfit. Does a women of 46 (ok, by then still 45) really have to dress that way? Is it not just one more sign for a loss of perspective? Am I a victim of the beauty-craze?

And what do my customers say? 

There is more and more negative feedback. Although I‘m still far from being skinny (and more curvy than most women at a typical Festival), many perceive my as too slim and complain about my changes. They express their sincere hope that I won‘t transform into one of those typical Tango-dolls, with whom no „normal“ dancer can identify.

But, do not worry, folks! This will not happen, as I won‘t change my general attitude towards dancing or teaching and I won‘t get very much slimmer either. My natural disposition and my love of good food will prevent that. But I could not stay fat to meet your expectations either. ;-)

As I am also very aware of what I‘m wearing and doing, I will try to not fall into the everlasting-youth trap. I will age appropriately, become wrinkly, wear decent clothes and will not embarrass myself by trying to be fake young age. I will buy my first pair of real glasses soon (I‘ve already got reading glasses) and I will not hesitate to wear them in public. How else could I do a perfect Mirada and Cabeceo?

What is the male reaction to my changes? Well, I get a lot of compliments, but most men assure, that they liked my rounder form as well. And as they‘ve danced with my former curvy self as much as with my new slimmer incarnation, I somehow believe them. So I won‘t overdo it and stay „average“. ;-)

My conclusion: the beauty crazy leaves only few people unaffected and we have to be aware of it‘s mechanisms and dangers in our very special Tango bubble. I‘ll do everything to stay grounded!

A short note:

Early in the text, I contrast Tango to other dances with different settings, but I‘ve got a hunch, that the Swing/Lindy or Salsa environment shares similar characteristics and its resulting problems.

Two disclaimers after thinking some more:
1. Note that I do not accuse men of not dancing with curvy women. I write about the fact, that the sheer existence of so many beautiful, slim and young women put "normal" women under so much pressure. Although some man might have preferences, as I commented upon in my very first blog post. ;-)
2. I don't want to criticize slim women or those who are striving to become slimmer or more beautiful. Do whatever you must to feel good and be happy, if you're already close to perfect. It is just the general and unhealthy obsession over these features that I find worrying.

Priorities - the reasons why I dance

I‘ve written about the women's right to make choices, about the proper way to show someone that you don‘t want to dance, about the reasons why I might not want to dance... A reader could get the impression, that I try to avoid dancing whenever I can. 

But that‘s not correct: Those who meet me when I go out for fun or when I am working in an environment that inspires me to dance (and I am not too tired from class) know better. Last April at YSM I went totally crazy! On one of the days, I danced through a whole afternoon Milonga and the evening Milonga without missing more than only very few Tandas. Ok, so this was a tad extreme. Usually, I am a calmer... But you get the point: I like dancing and will do so, when the time is right.

But when is it? And why? How do I chose my partners and what are my priorities? Here they are in an decreasing order of importance:

1. The embrace:

I am looking for a deep connection with my partner in a nice and close embrace. It is top priority. If you are a beginner who will only walk a little, but you take me into your arms with tenderness and dedication - you‘ve got a more than fair chance to become one of my favourite dancers. 

Some additional thoughts on the embrace:

How can I guess in advance, if you‘ve got a nice embrace? There are some indicators:

• Other women love to dance with you and refer to your embrace. (Yes, women talk about men.)
• I see them smile and close their eyes when they dance with you. (Yes, I‘ll watch you dancing, before I accept an invitation.)
• I have danced with you in class and noticed your embrace. (Yes, It‘s an unfair advantage that I have to other women.)
• I will see you using dissociation to lead and not your arms and hands. (Yes, having technical understanding of communication helps in determining the quality of embrace in advance.)

So, based on my perception, I might want to dance with you. If my guess was right - great! We‘ll dance a lot more in the future. 

But what if not? Well, if you are an experienced dancer, very set in your ways and my presumption was incorrect, I will finish the Tanda and that‘s it. If it does not feel so super, but you are still willing to develop, I might take another chance after a time or after some classes, because:

The quality of the embrace is a function of a proper technique. If you put your feet to a wrong positions you might bring me out of axis and the embrace looses it‘s intensity or relaxation, if you have to use your arms to lead a pivots, we‘ll start pushing with the arms... So: better stick to what you can dance easily and avoid too complex stuff. You don‘t have to impress me. Take me in your arms, do some shifts of weight, a pause, walk some steps... It is quite easy to make me happy.

2. The music:

The music is what makes me want to move. If I love an orchestra (Di Sarli comes into my mind) or a certain Tango, I will want to dance to it. I might even get very, very upset if there is no-one with whom I can move to that tune.

I listen to Tango music a lot and very consciously. And even if I have analysed a Tango in a very intellectual way, it is still it‘s emotional impact that inspires me to dance. Some Tangos are so beautiful, they make me want to cry. I might even cry in your arms when we dance to „Bajo el cono azul“ of OTV or some other favourite of mine. (It‘s not always Di Sarli.)

So, dear DJ‘s: Play nice music and there‘s a very fair chance that I will dance a lot.

Some additional thoughts on the music:

Because of my strong musical priorities and my work as a teacher and DJ, I have a very good idea how I want to dance to which music. I know many women don‘t care so much and are happy with interpreting the music through decorations. I want to express the music with all my body in unison with the partner. Sure, I like being surprised by him, but I will have some general expectations and you might or might not be my choice for this particular music.

For example: To slow Di Sarlis of the 50‘s, I will want to move calmly, elegantly but with a deep focus on being near to the partner. Very strong feelings can develop to this kind of dramatic music and I won‘t dance it with someone who‘s entire concentration is on rhythmic variation.

If I listen to a Canaro with Famá or a Tango by Biagi my focus will be more on the playful and rhythmical interpretation of the music. If there are e.g. syncopations, I want to dance them! Sure, the embrace has to be nice in any case, but less intense and my focus will be more on the music. 

You get the idea? It‘s not about dancing right or wrong, it‘s about how both partners listen to the music, how they filter the multiple information and if this matches.

The consequence being: you might be my favourite Di Sarli dancer, but I won‘t dance a Milonga with you. You inspire me to dance Vals, but I won‘t dance to Pugliese with you. I don‘t want to belittle you abilities as a dancer or even your musicality, but we might just not have the same perception of every Tango. 

The consequence being: If I don‘t react to your Cabeceo to D‘Arienzo, try again with another style of music and you might be surprised how eagerly I accept your invitation.

3. The exchange:

Some men are more open to an active participation of the women than others. They do not only wait for her accepting their suggestion - the minimum requirement for good dancer - they even like the idea of the woman communicating more directly. I am not talking about decorations, but about giving the man a subtle signal that indicates what you want to do. Call it back-leading, I call it interaction and it will always be rooted in my desire to interpret the music in a certain way. I won‘t do it a lot and certainly not with a beginner or someone who‘s not open for such a conversation - but it can be great fun!

4. The elegance:

When I am in a certain mood, I like the idea of moving elegantly. Some men allow for the woman to move with grace and elegance more than others and sometimes it is a question of style or music. Pausing more, taking a longer stride, letting some time for a decoration.... I usually don‘t do embellishments because I focus much more on the embrace and the shared interpretation of the music - on what‘s happening on the inside. Elegance is about how you are perceived from the outside. Usually I just assume that a natural elegance derives from a proper technique and am happy with the outcome. But sometimes, I am more vain. 

5. The challenge:

Sometimes I dance with a guy, because I am up for a challenge. (Mark you, he still has to be capable of dancing social Tango in close embrace. I will not respond to the invites of Fantasia or Nuevo dancers who can or will only dance open - no matter how interesting and perfectly they move.) But maybe this special leader will dance a little bit more complex or just different than my usual partners. He will surprise me with what he is doing and I will have to be more alert to prove my skills as a dancer. Once in a while, that‘s fun too.

So, that‘s it.

This weekend, I‘ll be dancing at our FCA. There will be many of my favourite dancers and great music. Don‘t expect me to be seated a lot!

Body language for beginners

So... a couple of weeks ago, I was at that Milonga...

It was a very common situation: In the morning, I had been running a couple of kilometres, we had been giving classes all day, we had walked to all the venues back and forth, we had done a demo... You can imagine, that I was quite tired. In addition to that, the music was not really to my taste and there were very few dancers on the dancefloor that would have tempted me. No one will be surprised, that I was not very much inclined to dance. So I sat down in the very corner of the Milonga, watched the dancefloor, talked to some very nice - mostly female - fans of this blog. I was generally in a good mood, but this changed as I had to spend the next hours refusing invitations. 

Why, dear Tangueros?

At this Milonga, Mirada & Cabeceo are not the custom, but should a grown-up person not be able to read body language? People do it all the time in every walk of life, but in many Milongas this common knowledge seems to be lost.

This is why I decided to write a small manual for everyone who‘s planning on inviting me.

Signs that I DON‘T WANT to dance:

• I look annoyed, angry, gloomy, sad (insert any other overt negative expression). 
• I slouch on my chair and make a very un-energetic impression. Maybe my feet are in a vertical position, lying on a chair. Or worse: my eyes are closed, my head is falling down and I seem to sleep. (Ok, I avoid falling asleep at a Milonga even under very dire circumstances, but you get my point, yeah?)
• I turn and look away, when you are looking or walking into my direction. (Alternatively: I all of a sudden bend down and start adjusting my shoe-straps.)
• I am engaged in a deep conversation that takes up all my attention.
• I don‘t wear Tango shoes. (The fact that I WEAR them, is no sign that I want to dance though.)
• I am getting a foot massage.
• I read in my Kindle, a book or class notes.
• I play/work on my iPhone or my MacBook. 
• I eat a meal.
• I am engaged in some romantic activity: kissing, cuddling, holding hands and looking deeply into my partner‘s eyes. (Well, I would not do that at a Milonga, but IF I did, it were a definite sign, that I don‘t want to dance with you.)

Signs that I WANT to dance:

• I look alert, friendly, relaxed and in general open for approach.
• I sit or stand in an upright position and make an energetic and toned impression.
• I look into your eyes and smile when you approach me.
• I nod friendly whilst looking at you.
• I chat lightly with someone but still actively interact with other people.
• I start looking around almost panicky, dancing with all my body and trying to make eye contact with you. (Now this only happens when a nice Tanda of Di Sarli is playing.)

I guess, many women would agree to this interpretation of body language and use it likewise. And too many men seem to ignore it or just don‘t have a clue. But it is not all their fault. 

Women send out mixed signals: 

• You look away, but then still accept the invitation. Even I have done that (rarely, but it happened) after having refused too many men during an evening. I lost my nerves, because I did not want to be perceived as unfriendly and got up. But then I danced with little pleasure. That‘s not good! Even I have to be more strict in these situations. 
• Another typical mistake: You want to dance, but display an angry face - maybe because you have not been invited all evening. Possibly you even entered the Milonga with that facial expression and unknowingly repelled the willing leaders. In the past, I made that mistake often. Now I know, that my chances of getting invites are a much higher, if I look alert, friendly and directly into men‘s eyes. 

But - you see what I‘m aiming at - this is why Mirada & Cabeceo make sense. It is not just a weird custom from Buenos Aires. It is a ritualised form of natural body language - a setting where everyone actually knows and shares the same code. Like moving to a foreign country: it makes sense to learn it's language and customs to avoid misunderstandings. The same goes for Tango. When everyone speaks the same language and knows the codes, awkward situations like men standing in front of women and having to go back to their seats will not occur. And everyone will feel much less irritated.

So, please: Bring back Cabeceo! 

Before I upload this and start my day with a Yoga session, let me just add a small paragraph.

As mentioned above, I am convinced that this body languages comes natural to most people, but some circumstances may only apply to me personally. So, please do not even bother to try and invite me when:

• The DJ plays Neo-Tango, Electro-Tango, Non-Tango, Piazzolla, Fox-trot, Salsa, Chacarera or just weird stuff.
• It is the Tanda right after or before our demo.
• You have just been demonstrating a serious lack of floor-craft or danced inappropriately expressively or aggressively on the social dance-floor.
• You cannot dance in a close embrace.
• You wear a bathing suit.

I will sit that one out.

It's official: I am the Tango police

This was so sweet. 

Last weekend we've been teaching in Celje at the Festivalito Rural. Our friends Saso and Alja always create a unique and very friendly ambiance. After the demo, they like to give us a small present - no flowers but something real useful and personal. Last year, Detlef got an antique iron. (Facebook friends know why.)

This year, it was my turn. I got a complete Tango police kit for interventions at Milongas and it was presented in an extraordinary way:

The music started and Saso - the conferencier - began to describe a typical Milonga, whilst Alja was sitting on the side of the dance-floor and demonstrating the use of my present: 
A nice couple entered the floor and started dancing in a close embrace and civilized way. They were presented the green "milonguero? si!" card. 
Another couple joined them, dancing a little disoriented and bumping into the first dancers. Alja showed the yellow "milonguero? no!" card with a stern expression. (Actually the yellow card should say "milonguero? not yet!" in my opinion. That's a minor flaw.)
The last couple perfectly impersonated an out-of-control guy and a poor woman being dragged onto the floor and forced into weird poses. Exactly as I had described it in my article. They were shown very decidedly the red "milonguero? no!" card.

Great idea! Everyone loved it.

From now on, I will carry my Tango police kit to every Milonga. Evildoers beware! ;-)

When I'm 64

Here I am in Celije at the „Festivalito Rural“. It is one of nicest Milonguero Encuentros that developed within the last years. I am looking forward to meeting dear friends and clients from France, Italy, Germany, Austria, the USA, Hungary, maybe Romania and many other nations. Three days of dancing in a super-friendly environment - it feels like being at home, because I am surrounded by people that I know well from many other events. Last week, I‘ve met some in Eton, now in Celje, next month they‘ll be in Saarbrücken and just before Christmas in Barcelona. In the meanwhile, Facebook helps to stay connected. It‘s like a big family!

What have we all got in common? Apart from Tango, many of us we share a frustration with our local communities, where we cannot find the dance we are looking for. All those cuddly embraces with skilled dancers... we can only get them if we travel far. Most Milongueros spend a large portion of their income on these trips. The last three years, I was lucky to participate in some of these lovely events as a teacher, but from next year on, I'll be teaching less and therefore spending more to visit the Encuentros. That's ok for the time being.

But what will be in 20 years from now? Those who are now in their mid-forties will be in their sixties, either retired or still working because they cannot afford to stop. I will surely be working, but I won‘t be a travelling tango-teacher anymore and whatever I do, will - most likely - not generate a high income. And with the economic situation being as it is, I am on the safe side to say, that in general there won‘t be as many well-off (or at least ok-off) pensioners as you can find nowadays in Tango. I guess only few Tangueros have surplus funds to provide for old age. This is why most of us will not be able to buy that flat in Buenos Aires or travel to the great Encuentros as many of the more aged European Milongueros still do nowadays.

So, where will we get our direly needed embraces? Will there be - by then - nice close-embrace Tango at home? I guess not, at least not in my town. As I will have lost all my non-Tango-friends by not keeping contact, I will most-likely be sitting alone in my tiny flat, looking at old videos of the Encuentros and wishing I was back.

Wow... that sounds really depressing.

I gotta do something: get a life out there or create great dancers and Milongas at home or move to a town with a good Tango community... Or marry a millionaire. Or start a Milonguero-pension-fund. ;-)

But for today, I will just try to do my job as good as possible and have fun at the Festivalito. 

CARPE DIEM!

The watcher

Last week I wrote about DJing in the heat of the Midi. I would like to write about another incident that happened on the same evening, but had started a few days earlier...

Saturday, Nimes, Milonga del Angel: 

It was the first evening of our intensive seminar at the Mas de Mestre and we visited this well-known Milonga. It‘s been running for ages and although it is a little less frequented in summer, it is still a nice place to be. Traditional music, some good dancers, lots of friends. We know most Tangueros in the region as we‘ve been visiting for more than 7 years.

Unfortunately, you‘ll always find a couple of rowdies on the dance floors and this evening, one guy was standing out: He was doing huge, uncontrolled movements, pulling the women onto the dancefloor, out of axis and into absurd poses. He was a threat to everyone else. You think I‘m exaggerating? Oh no!

One of our students made the mistake of accepting his invitation. She had not noticed him earlier. I wonder why... She suffered for two Tangos, trying to slow him down a little, but then gave it up and finished the Tanda prematurely. Well done!

The guy tried to invite some other ladies of our group (including me) but had no success and continued pulling locals onto the dance floor.

Then an accident happened: the host decided to announce our Milonga, the bully got interested and asked Detlef to give him the address. Which Detlef did out of reflex. I think, he had not seen the guy dancing either. Am I the only one who watches the dancefloor?

Sunday, Aubais, Milonga à la cave Aubai Mema:

I learned about the rowdie‘s invitation on the next evening, when he was abusing new victims on another dancefloor. Why would none of these women stand up and refuse his invites? This is when I decided to prevent such misdemeanour at our Milonga.

Tuesday, Sommières/Villevieille, Milonga au Mas de Mestre:

Our Milonga was already on it‘s sweaty course, when Mr. Bully entered the room. Although I was feeling very uncomfortable with it, I decided to nip any bad behaviour in the bud and approached him. In quite neutral words, I told him that I had watched his dancing during two Milongas and that I would ask him to behave in a more social way at our Milonga, to keep the line of dance, not make such big moves and not invite women by direct invitation but by Cabeceo. He exploded: Who was I to talk to him in such a way? He claimed to be a good dancer who had danced all over the world, knowing how to dance properly in contrast to these other losers. I pointed out that I was - as he well knew - the host and DJ at this Milonga and that it was my responsibility to keep the dancefloor safe for everyone. Especially for the women, whom I had seen suffer a lot with him. He started insulting me, telling me that any child could DJ, that he did not accept my authority and that he would do what he pleased. Never had anyone talked to him in such a way, cried he!

So what was I to do now? He was a huge guy and very pissed-off. I could not throw him out of the room on my own and I did not want to disturb our Milonga. So I decided to wait and watch what happened.

Well... the guy sat and stared at me with a very angry expression. I tried to keep my calm and greeted all incoming guests and friends, behaving all „normal“. After a while he got up to dance and - behold - he moved only half as dangerously as earlier. Then he sat down again.

A little later, Detlef arrived and I told him what had happened. He got really angry about the guys insulting behaviour and asked if he should throw him out. I was undecided because he seemed to be calmer now. Detlef spoke to him nevertheless - repeating basically what I had said, but not throwing him out. Some time later the guy left.

So, have we acted out of line in asking this guy to conduct himself more carefully at our Milonga? Should I at least have waited until he actually started dancing and misbehaving? Or was it o.k. to go there in advance as I had watched him dance at other occasions? I had the impression that - however aggressively he reacted - his behaviour changed after our intervention. When Detlef saw him at the next Milonga, he was obviously not dancing. Is this a good thing or not? Have we scared off a poor guy or have we stimulated a process of self-reflection?

From what he sad - and I believe his reaction - none of the regional organisers or dance partners had ever given him a negative feedback. I knew that they are complaining about him amongst themselves but never to him. This is very sad.

But whose responsibility is it to give feedback when someone misbehaves so badly? The teachers and only in class? Milonga organisers? DJ‘s? Dance partners? Everyone at a Milonga? Who is to judge if someone is just slightly annoying or really disturbing other guests? Do we need more watchers? Do we need a Tango police?

Or is Tango about laissez-faire? Just do what you like as long as you don‘t bump into MY personal space?

I don‘t know... Apart from stressing floor-craft and appropriate social behaviour in class, I always felt it was my responsibility as a host to keep the dancefloor agreeable for everyone. Similar incidents occurred approximately once a year, but the reprimanded‘s reactions were usually positive: people excused themselves and danced more carefully for the next hours. The French guy‘s aggressive reaction might have been a reaction to my ill-concealed anger as he was such an extreme case. But even he seemed to change after it. Maybe I should be more careful in HOW I approach someone, but I won‘t stop doing it. 

I cannot. Must be my watcher mentality!

The heat is on!

Finally it is summer and I‘m in the midst of it, teaching an intensive class in the south of France in an old Mas.

For those who don‘t know the term: A Mas is kind of a former hamlet, nowadays usually in the hand of one proprietor who rents out rooms or small apartments. We organize one or two intensive seminars per year in such a Mas, visiting the region near Nîmes and Montpellier.

The Mas de Mestre is situated in the vicinity of a medieval town called Sommières. It is quite stylish. The rooms have been decorated with the help of local artists, there is a big garden with a swimming pool and a super nice dance floor in the former barn. Our lovely host and her cook take good care of us. It is ideal for an intensive seminar with ten couples. We stay one week, teach 4 hours per day and in the evenings we visit the local Milongas or dance at the Mas. Heaven on earth and very hard work as well! Especially when it is 35 degrees...

Tonight is the day of our Milonga „avec auberge espagnole“: We invite friends from all over the region, they bring food, I dj and everyone dances happily ever after.

In theory.

In reality it is too hot. It feels like the hottest day of the summer and I have to fight against the strong urge of the dancers to just stay put on the veranda and have a beer. Mr. Di Sarli, D‘Arienzo, Biagi and Canaro help a lot and play their nicest Tangos. But during the first Tango of every Tanda, the dancefloor is almost empty. Everyone runs out to have a cool drink. Then they drag themselves back, chose a partner and dance. And literally stick together. I see them smiling, so they seem to have a good time ... but some of them look quite messy.

I don't dance. Apart from having to keep the energy high on the dance floor, I find myself glued to the chair. I don‘t know if it is fatigue or sweat. Both, I guess...

I‘d really love to dance. Mr. Donato is playing Sin Sabor and my feet tingle.

But I cannot move.

It is too hot.