This is a strange morning.
In the past weeks, I’ve written non-stop for my new RPG project. But yesterday I finished a milestone because the upcoming weeks will be non-stop teaching. So this morning, I found myself without an immediate task. Half a day without work, before I have to do the shopping for the TTT.
This is when my mind starts roaming.
I was born in London and when I was a child, our family moved a lot. We even lived in Barcelona for a year before we settled in the most American of all German towns: Kaiserslautern. It was neither very fascinating, nor particularly nice. But I always thought, that one day, I’d live in London again. Because my parents were travel agents, I continued travelling to beautiful places. There was not a lot of boredom. Actually, as a child, I was rather annoyed by the constant voyages and preferred to stay at home with my friends. Friend were always important to me.
Because of them, I then went to study in Saarbrücken, just 70 kilometres away from Kaiserslautern. Saarbrücken is a smaller city right on the French border. It has some fine enough parts, but is not very beautiful in my opinion.
As a student, I nevertheless felt quite connected to the city: lots of cultural and political activities going on, plenty of new friends to make. I still told myself, however, that I would move after I’m done with university. But then my studies dragged on, work as a psychologist came and went, tango started, and it did not matter where I lived because we travelled all the time anyway.
In these past 25 years, I’ve seen gorgeous places: historical towns in Italy, impressive cities in the USA, the serene countryside in the UK. I’ve enjoyed these locations for a few days, but then went home again.
But is this really home? In fact, I have lost all connections to the city itself, I barely go out anymore and have no interest in the cultural activities here. Yet, we have the Tangokombinat studio in the same building where we live. This is very convenient, and I don't need to use the car a lot. Detlef and I have our regular classes and people come from all over the world to study and dance with us. But even to them, Saarbrücken is not very attractive. Our clients come for the tango, not for the location.
I could teach, work and live anywhere! Most of my long-time tango-friends live elsewhere, and I’d be integrated in some other community in no time. I can also do my RPG writing from anywhere I wish. All of our team meetings are via Zoom anyway! The same goes for my sweetheart. He, too, could work from any place in the world.
And there is another very good reason to tear down the tents: One day, I will be too old and poor to travel and there won't be anymore invitations to teach in foreign countries. Tango will be over for me, if I continue living here. In ten years from now, this might already be reality. So maybe the smart thing to do would be to move to a city, where tango exists independent from myself organising it.
But will I?
I still have my non-tango friends, la famiglia, who are very dear to me. They are the most important reason to stay. But also rents and living expenses are relatively low, and I can easily develop my dance-therapy activities in our Tangokombinat studio in the years to come. Most beautiful places are incredibly expensive or there are political reasons that prevent me from settling there. Here, it is convenient. Again that word!
Yesterday, a weird thing occurred. A car burned down due to a technical defect just opposite from where we live. Was this a sign of doom? A sign to move away? Or a reason to stay because now, after all, something exciting has happened in our street?
I might be stuck here for good.
(Photo Credit: SR )