tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183577605666117106.post1739441552227033078..comments2023-05-17T13:22:26.321+02:00Comments on Melina's two cents: Making choices - women‘s active participation in the danceMelina Sedohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08727388535288424558noreply@blogger.comBlogger12125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183577605666117106.post-52051271550702106422011-06-11T21:21:52.702+02:002011-06-11T21:21:52.702+02:00Just found another great post on the topic:
http:...Just found another great post on the topic:<br /><br />http://tango-beat.blogspot.com/2011/04/tangueras-choose-their-men-like-golf.htmlMelina Sedohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08727388535288424558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183577605666117106.post-52471842057189164602011-02-06T13:06:42.974+01:002011-02-06T13:06:42.974+01:00Thanks for the post and a big YES also from me!
B...Thanks for the post and a big YES also from me!<br /><br />But: the more I want and need to enjoy tango this way, the more I feel lonely because there is only a handful (if so!) of partners left with whom it is possible, at least here. Then, sometimes, I also dance "socially" which frustrates me deep inside in the end because I want to dance tango and not to make "chitchats with bodies". I did not yet find a good solution....42http://reeperbahn42.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183577605666117106.post-12461167686478407602011-01-27T04:10:35.069+01:002011-01-27T04:10:35.069+01:00Amazing insights. Thank you. I've always consi...Amazing insights. Thank you. I've always considered myself more of a passive follower, but in reading this post there's a good chance I was wrong, and that's a great thing to know. =)<br /><br /><br /> I'm always willing to dance with someone once. But having my ear screamed into, getting bulldozed around the floor, or being held in the embrace in such a way that I can't maintain balance or comfort guarantees I'll never dance with that partner again. <br /><br />I like especially what you say about being an active practice-partner. My husband and I do quite a bit back and forth and we normally have to have the teacher sort out our disagreements when they come up=). From watching others, and through my own experiences, I find that both partners learn more quickly when followers speak up (and it always helps if they can lead the move too.) <br /><br />Thanks again for this post, you said it so well I'm going to share this article with all the followers (and leaders) in my community.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183577605666117106.post-29557926580879355972010-12-11T12:12:03.360+01:002010-12-11T12:12:03.360+01:00Please forgive my typing errors in the former post...Please forgive my typing errors in the former post. Typing on the iphone is not so easy, when you just woke up and still dizzy. ;-)Melina Sedohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08727388535288424558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183577605666117106.post-64313309331802814452010-12-11T12:08:43.343+01:002010-12-11T12:08:43.343+01:00@ tangowords:
Thanks for your post. I wantto comme...@ tangowords:<br />Thanks for your post. I wantto comment on what your recent teacher said:<br />There are still a lotof teachersabd dancers out there who really think, danceand teach that philosophy. But ithink, mostof the more modern thinkers do promote a dance where both partners adapt to each other and thus determine the style of the dance. <br />Someone who invites me to dance will definetely have to adapt, if he does not already dance ina way, that i like to adapt to. No man will lead me into open back sacadas or ganchos or high voleos. He might try this fora short while, but than, he eitherhas to change his ide or i am gonna stop dancing with him. But most of the dancers are sensible and sensitive enough to see and feel, that i di not wanna dance that way and they will dance in a calm closer embrace with me. <br />I remember very well a milonga in Torino last year. A nice guy invited me to dance. And although he danced a rather wild style, i accepted him, because we had been friends on Facebook. He instantly adapted to my style and danced nicely in a close embrace. When i came back to my group of students, several of them conmented on this fact, as they had noticed his change. <br />My point being: women just have to show and say, how they wanna dance and most men (being nice and intelligent ) will do their share of adapting.<br />Best greetings to all!Melina Sedohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08727388535288424558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183577605666117106.post-57551214698038222312010-12-09T16:55:20.946+01:002010-12-09T16:55:20.946+01:00A fascinating post. Thank you. I feel tango become...A fascinating post. Thank you. I feel tango becomes its most sublime (is sublime relative?) when both partners are... well, partners. It becomes a conversation rather than a monologue?<br /><br />To what extent this happens depends on many factors, the ability of both partners to accept the responsibility, level of musicality, perhaps even the degree of trust?<br /><br />At the very least, when a leader initiates a move, how the dance develops from there must be affected in some way by the follower's response. This is what gives any truly improvised dance -- potentially -- its power and excitement.<br /><br />Carlos Gavito: "I lead and I follow."<br /><br />During a recent class class a visiting teacher said something to the effect that all leaders develop their own style sooner or later, but a follower's style is dictated by the leader. Of course he may have been simplifying for what was largely a class of people relatively new to tango. But...<br /><br />Another quote:<br /><br />“If we’re dancing with one of those rare men who give the woman time to express her feelings, to answer the questions he poses with his body, and if he’s interested in the woman’s answer, then he’ll give the woman time to express her feelings with her feet, her body, her eyes, in many different ways.” Dolores de AmoAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183577605666117106.post-19412829887653015752010-12-09T15:07:42.566+01:002010-12-09T15:07:42.566+01:00I agree particularly with knowing and choosing mus...I agree particularly with knowing and choosing music. I've heard many a leader say how lovely it is to dance when the woman also listens to the music and understands it.Tinahttp://tinatangos.com/blognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183577605666117106.post-58654939524045893892010-12-09T11:14:27.614+01:002010-12-09T11:14:27.614+01:00Just perfect! Nothing to add!Just perfect! Nothing to add!Mikamounoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183577605666117106.post-85286949390860059952010-12-08T20:59:18.884+01:002010-12-08T20:59:18.884+01:00I totally agree! to make choices is a supreme stra...I totally agree! to make choices is a supreme strategy to get a decent tangolife.<br />The more I followed my wishes the easier it was to accept others decisions - even if they excluded me! When I understood how fond I was about the feeling of drifting together away on music I just could concentrate on those ladies who sheared the same longing and some kind of quiet peace took place inside me!<br /><br />Active choices make the frustration level lower and you have more space for joy! <br /><br />Many times when I ask a lady what she would like to train the answer is: Everything!<br />Plash! My invitation to cooperate was turned down and this answer actually leaves me alone, outside somehow. When the follower have more clear idea about skill and the level she would like to work on then we could cooperate and together move on!LeadingLadyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01962460209335459383noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183577605666117106.post-10016766475674524132010-12-08T13:55:39.859+01:002010-12-08T13:55:39.859+01:00@ Kieron:
Oh yes! Selfishness is not equal to acti...@ Kieron:<br />Oh yes! Selfishness is not equal to active participation. It's a partnership, that we are all searching.<br /><br />@ Lynn:<br />You are so right. For most women, it takes a lot of time and painfull experiences to develop their own style, taste, role. It's not an easy process, but it's worthwhile, when there's this unique embrace at the end of the tunnel! :-)Melina Sedohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08727388535288424558noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183577605666117106.post-68126000982495838662010-12-08T12:43:32.945+01:002010-12-08T12:43:32.945+01:00Yup. Completely, utterly, totally agree. But pro...Yup. Completely, utterly, totally agree. But problematically, like all learning, the early years of tango are crucial. And the early years of tango are often a sea of unknowing. We don't know what tango really is, we don't know the music, we don't know what constitutes a good leader, we don't know about different styles of tango, we don't know whether a tango teacher is any good. We bounce like a demented ping-pong ball from teacher to teacher, from leader to leader, from close embrace to open hold, from milonga to milonga from country to country seeking enlightenment without knowing what it is we really need to know. And our eyes beguile us and we fall in love with followers who dazzle us with gorgeous footwork and foolishly believe that our goal is to mirror their tricks and look exquisite and be able to perform at will with anyone and dance to any music. And at the end of all our seeking, and if we're very lucky, we begin to understand that no, that's not it all. That there is a still, soundless, timeless, eternal centre to this dance and that the way to this centre is through the embrace. And that, above all else, our own part in the embrace is where our focus needs to be.Lynnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07567336399327329045noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9183577605666117106.post-86533932058546323652010-12-08T12:39:45.370+01:002010-12-08T12:39:45.370+01:00Well written! I hope many tangueras can gain somet...Well written! I hope many tangueras can gain something from this. I am all in favour of women taking control of their situation in tango and doing their 50%. All of my favourite dances have been with a creative woman inspiring me as we dance.<br /><br />By contrast, some of my worst dances have been with women who do whatever they please and leave me out of it. I have spent years learning how to lead a step and move with my partner, and I think some strong-minded dancers forget how much skill is involved in staying connected as they take over the dance. It is vital that girls understand the difference between being an active partner and dancing selfishly.Kieronnoreply@blogger.com